Reviews

Author explores the cougar lifestyle in new book
- from The Canadian Jewish News, By RITA POLIAKOV, Staff Reporter

Myna Wallin isn't who I thought she would be. After reading her new novel, Confessions of a Reluctant Cougar, I expected to meet the woman staring at me from the back cover. The one in a low-cut shirt, exaggerated make-up, a tight leopard print skirt and, to complete the look, cleavage. Lots of cleavage.

But that's not really who she is.

Wallin, an editor and poet, is the author of a book that covers everything from threesomes and orgasms to fetishes and sex toys. But more importantly, it's a story of a Jewish cougar – a woman who dates younger men.

So when I was asked to interview her, I expected the main character, Olivia, to be based, at least loosely, on the author. And she sort of is.

"I'm a cougar, as I say in my bio," says Wallin, who sipped her coffee in regular clothing. No cleavage. No leopard prints.

"I have dated many younger men in my life. [The book] is a composition of men I'd known. I took the neurosis of one guy and another guy and made it into the most neurotic [characters]."

This is how she created her main male character, William, a hypochondriac who refuses to have sex more than a few times a week.

The book, it seems, isn't quite autobiographical. But it isn't completely fictional, either.

If anything, Olivia is Wallin's alter ego, an extreme version of who she is.

"When I'm reading from this book, I put on my Olivia face. It's kind of like acting. This particular character is a persona I wear for this book," she said. "When I read from it, I dress up like her. There's this sort of outgoing and provocative nature I take on. But as my best friend says, you're not that person."

The only thing that really reminds me of Olivia is Wallin's refusal to reveal her age.

"I'm over 45," she said reluctantly. In the book, Olivia would never give away her age.

"She doesn't want to grow up," Wallin said.

Like her character, Wallin started off as an actor, performing in local plays and improv shows. Eventually, she ended up writing a play of her own, which ran in Toronto's Fringe Festival in the 1990s. She also enrolled in the University of Toronto's master's of English program. She got her first book, a collection of poetry called A Thousand Profane Pieces, published by Tightrope Books in 2006.

Apart from poetry, Wallin started writing short stories, which eventually turned into Confessions of a Reluctant Cougar.

"There are writers who do it all. I know a lot of writers who are just writing poetry. There is a bit of a divide," said Wallin about her switch to prose. "I guess I wanted to give myself a challenge."

And Confessions of a Reluctant Cougar, which was published by Tightrope Books this summer, was certainly a challenge, especially when deciding where to draw the line between sexy and raunchy.

"If there's too much sex, it goes over the line to pornographic. It's just something you sense. You don't want to be too coy, especially, with a book like this," she said.

And she isn't. In the book Olivia has her fair share of crazy nights, which include a three-way in a back alley during an arts show and sex with a foot fetishist.

But the book is more than just a sexual timeline. It's also got a touch of feminism to it.

"It's not a common thing to have a character over 50 who's single," she said.

"Olivia is just free. She's proud of her sexuality. Sometimes I'm a bit graphic, but sometimes I have to go there."

Wallin's book also explores the role of religion in dating. Olivia, who's Jewish, has a history of dating Christian boys, something Wallin equates to a Jew eating bacon. If you're told you can't have something, you want it more.

"[Olivia] defines herself by what she isn't. She knows she's not Christian, and yet she tries to be liberal-minded. I think she's secular. It's very much like me," Wallin said.

"I identify as a Jew. It's my upbringing, my culture. It's in every fibre of my genes, and yet it's not religious. It's not observant."

For Wallin, the book's title has significance. Olivia, it seems, isn't just a cougar, she's a reluctant one.

"For me, the reluctance is in the tension between what she acts out and what she thinks she might want," Wallin said.

"In these serial cougar relationships, there's a high probability it's not going to work out. She wants to have fun, to feel young, to feel free and to do what men do."

But there's a flip side to the character.

"In the back of her mind, she knows she wants to settle down."

Copyright © Myna Wallin,